I was Struck by Lightning!

I was struck by lightning. BUT HERE I AM! Everything is fine.

Ok, well maybe! I was in the lake water when lightning hit it and I felt an electric current go through my body…does that count? On the bright side, this past week was a major blessing to our family. So many more thanks than we can give to my parents, the Morella’s, and to the Groves’!!  This was the best lake vacation with our entire family! My sister’s in-laws own a place on Lake Martin and my parents rented an Airbnb minutes by boat down from them. We had a beautiful house, dock and covered gigantic patio to spend the week.

Everyday was filled with fun on the water jet-skiing, tubing and jumping off cliffs. One particular day, we had just gotten off the boat and headed upstairs to feed everyone for lunch. It was mid-afternoon. Mia was asleep in a bedroom up on the third level of our Airbnb. Steps from the backdoor, we had a few kids fishing out on the dock with my older sister, a few in the water with me and my mom and a couple finishing up lunch and relaxing upstairs. We heard thunder, but the sky was still pretty clear. My sister, Angela, said we needed to get out, but I didn’t see much urgency with clear skies above. Although, the next thing I remember, I was swimming fast pushing my daughter, Charlee, toward the ladder saying “everyone get out!” I had just felt a shock go all the way through my body, mainly through my chest and arms (my mom saying through her legs and bottom-half) and heard the loudest thunder imaginable. My brain just kicked into over drive, knowing two of my kids were in the water. I got my niece and Charlee out while screaming, “Is everyone ok? Anyone hurt?! Get inside!”

Have you ever heard of Electric Shock Drowning? This is a result of the passage of a typically low level current through the body with enough force, however, to cause muscular paralysis causing the person to literally be unable to help himself/herself while immersed in water…resulting in drowning. Ya’ll I had never heard of this. I was ignorant to this. From my google search, a lot of the time this is caused by some type of malfunction with a boat, but definitely lightning hitting water could result in this as well. After getting everyone out and calmed down, I was researching what in the world had just happened to us! Not good, people! Too much information is often the cause of worry and anxiety. We learned a great lesson that day, but what came with it was also too much fear and anxiety.

I was looking forward to this way to much to be consumed with my anxiety! Before this vacation, I have been stuck in the house for five months. FIVE MONTHS! My pastor spoke on God’s purpose for work today and quoted this passage:

“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty,” Proverbs 14:23. 

I left my job in September of 2019. I have been a stay-at-home mom since then. The three things he stated today in his sermon were work brings income, purpose and something else. Sorry, he lost me after the first two didn’t apply to me. I have written other blogs about this very topic. My purpose was completely wrapped up in my job. This is why I left corporate America to pursue ministry. In my mind, they are equal parts. The thing I did the most, my job, was the thing that needed to be my top priority and my purpose. I spent 8-10 hours a day at my job, how could I not confuse “my purpose in life” with work?

This vacation was my first opportunity to get out of the house since March! Matt leaves for work a few times a week. He gets socialization every week. I do not. I have struggled with purpose since I have left my job. Being a stay-at-home mom is awesome and a worthwhile position, but for me why was it not fulfilling enough? And then I hear messages like this?! Work brings in income and provides purpose. Two things that I associate with an out-of-house job that brought meaning and huge significance to my life — at one time I was even the breadwinner of our family — which I left to go back into part-time ministry upon having our first baby! A stay-at-home mom seems like a failure ACCORDING TO MY GIFTINGS. I know…that’s terrible! I am so encouraged and proud of moms who can do it all. Being a stay-at-home mom is so hard. I say daily, I can not do this! I can not! My gifting is not entertaining children, teaching children, creative enough to come up with purposeful play. SO WHY AM I AT HOME?! WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN?!!

I needed this vacation. I had to get out. I had to feel normal. We were suppose to go visit Matt’s brother a few weeks ago, but we had a couple scares with Covid so we decided to stay home. I was crushed. I NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS HOUSE! I knew we made the right decision, but I was already at the end of the rope.

BUT do you know what happened? God sent my sister from the UK to come visit (somehow during corona times) and my parents arranged, in a couple weeks time, for the three sisters spread across the world to come together to vacation as a family. Matt and I loaded up, headed to see his brother and then traveled an hour and half to the lake to stay with my family. It was perfect!

My sister’s mother-in-law said to me on our last day, “you seemed very anxious the first day.” That was because, I was!  I grew up going with friends to the lake, jumping off god-knows how high rocks, flipping jet skis over wakes and so much more. Why was I so nervous with a high-ranked marine driving the boat we were tubing from?! I don’t know. I can not explain anxiety. Those of you that struggle with it, know what I mean.  I told her that. I have no idea what causes my anxiousness. Yes, I trust her and her husband, but that has nothing to do with why I feel what I feel and trying to figure it out in the moment makes it ten times worse!

I was blessed to spend a weekend with the Grove’s. In some ways, I think God planned this trip specifically for me! The thing that I kept hearing from them all weekend was, “it will be fine.” I heard this same phrase from both Sabrina’s mother-in-law and father-in-law! If the jet ski flips, it will be fine. If the tube flips, it will be fine. So consequently, after I was “struck by lightning” I didn’t fear for my life, or think what if I had died, or all the bad things that I could have…what I heard was “it will be fine”. I know people have actually been struck by lightning and had much worse encounters with death and saying, it will be fine is not so easy for them, but going through a handful of traumatic events in my life (I am not counting this current shock as one of them) I see God’s hand in everything we go through. Y’all it will be fine. There is a time for everything.