November 7, 2019
This was our last day at Casa Del Mar. This house was the perfect first home for us. All the kids loved it and there was plenty to keep us busy. We would spend that night there and head out in the morning to travel a couple hours away. The main reason we had to switch houses so much was because we traveled to Belize less than two weeks after getting the clear all to travel for the adoption. Because we wanted to all be together for bonding purposes and not split up into hotel rooms or hostels, I tried very hard to find Airbnb homes that could house 8 people. With such short notice, this meant taking what we could when we could and moving around. The second reason was because I tried to get houses close to our necessary appointments. The DHS and medical appointments were in Belize City so we chose Ladyville, a safer and close community. With our projected schedule, our next appointment would be in Belmopan, the capital city of Belize, for our US Embassy interview. I researched and found a small, quiet community called Spanish Lookout. Long story short, in the 1950’s the mennonites moved to Belize and created settlement in Spanish Lookout. This is a very modern mennonite community. Many Canadian’s migrated from Nova Scotia to Belize and made home there. We were told 80-95% of Belize’s agriculture business came from Spanish Lookout. I am sure I will go into this more in the next few days when we actually travel there. Matt and I had never really traveled this way in Belize and I wanted something close to Belmopan, safe and still close to daily activities. Traveling that way, we would get to see a whole different part of the country than we were used to. Matt and I had traveled almost to the southern point of Belize on a prior trip, but never west toward the Guatemalan border. There was a point when visiting the ruins that Matt and I both looked at our phones and said, we crossed over into Guatemala! Beautiful part of the country where we traveled through the Mayan Mountains and saw vast rainforests. Yes, our schedule had become incredibly messed up and though our time on the road had doubled because of these schedule changes, I believe heading southwest to Spanish Lookout was so worth it.
Ok! Back to our last day in Ladyville. We spent that day packing, swimming and fishing at the house. Matt would tell you this was one of the lowest points in his entire life! This day brought about many points of anxiousness, worry and more for him. If you haven’t been following along with his social media posts, I would encourage you to do so to see both perspectives. Although I am usually the nutcase and the one who leans mostly on him, these next couple days seemed to be a bit different. I look back and smile because I for once learned to take care of him. Matt is incredibly glass half full, full of life, happy, nothing really bother him type person, but after 10 years of marriage this was the first time I felt he actually needed me and it took our relationship to a whole different level. The balance seemed to level out. I was stable, happy even and I could only thank God for this polar change in our positions. Because I knew what he was feeling like and had been there more times than I could count, I didn’t take it personally and knew he had to work through this on his own time. Luckily, that day of our trip we would spend doing nothing but being together as a family in the house and Matt could have some alone time.
Guys, this trip was incredibly hard. I know you see the pictures of the sea, sun and fun, but it was really hard for Matt and I to see the beauty while there. We were bogged down with schedules, appointments, disappointments, stress of money, time and waking up each day not knowing when we would get to go home. For two planners, this trip was mind blowing. That is why these posts for both of us have been so huge. God was all over that trip and the things we did and saw were absolutely insane! For our kids to experience that, is once in a lifetime. The farther away from it all we get, the emotional torment fades away and the memories become so beautiful. I thank God that he is leaving that for me and taking away the pain of that trip. I think about the kids and their point of view. I hear the younger ones talk about how they got to swim with sharks, see stingrays, live on an island, climb to the top of a mayan ruin, etc and I start to see the trip through their eyes and oh is it a much beautiful memory to hold on to.
The troubles of this world will blind us to any and all beauty, but when we bust through that filter the unimaginable awaits! We have to take those chances or we will never see the world through God’s eyes. The more of this world I experience and see, the more of His character I get to know. We can step outside one day and see nothing and step outside the next and our breath is taken away at the beauty. Our perspective, circumstances, reality at the time paints that picture we see. Hand the paint brush over to God and let Him paint what’s really in front of us! I can’t believe the things I would have missed if I let the stresses and worries of that trip remain. There is beauty everywhere, we just have to work to see it on this side of life.
Mia loves books, but one of her favorites is “Who Sang the First Song” by Ellie Holcomb. I was talking to Matt today, telling him that Mia speaks the best and most clear when she is singing. We listen to Ellie’s song and Mia can sing the following words like she has never dealt with speech problems in her life!
When God made the earth
He decided to sing
And He wrote His song into everything
When God made the earth
He decided to sing
And He wrote His song into everything
It also reminds me of this verse,
And he said: βTruly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3
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