Y’all, all I can say after this week is, “God, bless this mess!”
What a week it has been. I knew it was going to be a busy week and weekend, but never could I have prepared for the tears. I have another craft show lined up for Saturday, but sold a good amount of product last weekend. We had doctor’s appointments and a school open house; Halloween costumes to make and paint-a-piece day at my youngest’s school; Red Ribbon Week at multiple schools that the kids wanted to participate; the big kids had their annual HSM Halloween party and a corn maze outing. No room for mess ups, (wink wink). Bo, our one year old puppy, has been sick for a couple months and this week he took a turn for the worse. Tuesday night he collapsed on the stairs so I carried him into the bed and snuggled close. He woke up on Wednesday morning bleeding from the nose and couldn’t move. I knew it was time. He was miserable. The two older kids already got on the bus (one at 6am and one at 6:30am), Matt had left for work and I was getting the other four ready to walk out the door. I went outside, put down the back seats in our minivan and laid out a blanket. I went back downstairs, opened the back door, picked Bo up from our bedroom and carried him out of the house. Our bedroom is in the walkout basement so I had to carry him up our stairs out back and lay him gently in the back of the van. I left the trunk open, knowing he couldn’t move, and went back inside to get the kids moving. Mia does this new thing where she takes off all her clothes and pull up at night. She is basically potty trained now at night, but she climbs down out of her bed in the morning and pees right on her floor. She can’t make it to the toilet so we had to put a toddler potty in her room. Consequently, when I went back downstairs to get her clothes, I slipped on said pee. I finally got the four kiddos in the car and just waited for the questions about Bo. I am pretty upfront with them about things so I told them to say their goodbyes. Charlee starts crying, Levi turns to aggression slapping Israel with a mask before pulling his hood over his head and balling up in the seat. Mia sings “Old McDonald Had a Farm” the whole way to school and Israel asks questions like, “How do they do it, “Are we going to bury him,” and “Will Buck know Bo is gone?” I head to CMS to drop off Israel, driving as fast as I could (while being safe) because I just wanted to get it over with. I dropped Israel off and turned toward SES. We sit in the line for about 30 mins waiting for the bell to ring. Every morning its Levi and Charlee fighting for the front seat, playing with the radio, sometimes playing with my hair (which I love!) and Mia continuing to sing “Old McDonald” in her seat trying to escape. The bell finally rings, the two middles head into their school and Mia and I head back to Cordova to drop her off at MHES. While driving down the highway, I look back and Mia has slipped her arms out of her carseat and is hanging from the brace bar on the car ceiling! I am screaming, “Mia, put your seatbelt back on!” while merging onto 385. We pull up to her school and I climb through the passenger side (that’s another story for another time!), find her shoes and socks she has taken off and thrown across the car and meet her teacher so they can walk into school. Later, I find out she was soaked from pee, which I didn’t notice so one of her teachers let me know at pick up. Sorry, I had a dying dog in the back and I wasn’t thinking straight! Long story short, I climbed back into the passenger side and headed to the vet. I carried Bo into the building, sat with him on my lap until I put him up on the table. Bo passed away at 10:07am.
After sitting in my car sobbing, I decided not to go home because I wanted to stay busy. Finally, it was time to start the 2-hour pick up routine. I start in Cordova with Mia and make my way to Collierville for the other three. We get home, I opened the passenger side to climb out and screamed! Buck, in his sad state from losing his bestie of course, was tearing apart Charlee’s favorite chicken, Blueberry.
Crazy seems to follow me everywhere. Today, I get an email from one of the schools saying a kid cheated on a quiz (there goes the corn maize tonight!). Following email news, I get home from drop offs (and working out) to find Buck has mulled more chickens. I scream at him and then start walking around the yard picking up dead and half dead chickens.
I wish I could say this was a rare week for us, but it’s not. It is pretty much the norm for us. But here’s the good news…Last week, I made a promise to myself to take time each day to pray and read the Bible. Unfortunately, I have been in a total funk for a while now, but two Sundays ago I sat on my porch swing at night and cried out to God,
“Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,” Psalm 13:3.
I woke up the next day with a whole new perspective…no lie…ask Matt!
You see, God told my friend to give me a book about lament at the perfect time. I sat on the swing and cried out to God at the perfect time. Monday morning I woke up ready to attack all the demons that came my way!
“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD,” Psalms 27:13-14.
Friends, walking with God is a constant discipline. He gives me strength when I need it and then I fall again. I may not have much encouragement, but I can try to relate to your heartache. Give me a chance and reach out to me if you need to.
Love you all!
Kristina
