I macheted a chicken this week. What did you do? No, but seriously it was awful! I am a huge believer in dogs going through the stages of grief the same way people do. Bo was Buck’s best friend. We got Buck as a puppy when Bo was just over 1. They were instant friends. Since Bo’s passing Buck has been acting out. Luckily, now he has entered into the stage of depression. Don’t worry I can help him in this stage. He has never gone after our free range chickens until Bo passed. He injured about 8 of them, but we were able to nurse back to health 3 of them. We haven’t been letting the chickens out of the run anymore, but somehow Buck found his way into the run! I found my Penelope barely alive. Her neck was, I’m guessing snapped, but she was still standing and breathing. Her feathers were pulled off and her bones were exposed. I could literally pull up her neck skin and see under it! I know, just awful! I knew I had to end her misery. Matt was working so I I knew I had to do it! I picked her up, neck flopped over, and put her in a box to carry her to the garage. I went into our storage room to find our oldest son’s machete. I grabbed the box that held Penelope and the machete to head around back so no one could see me. I was standing there with an almost lifeless chicken and me holding a machete. I, at that moment, knew I would never be the same after this. I stood there for a couple of minutes and gave myself a pep talk.
“You can do this!”
“You have to do this!”
“You will be stronger because of this!”
“You will eventually have to do it, get it over with!”
“This is part of being a farmer! You can do this!”
“You signed up for this, you have to do it!”
Y’all, I pulled out every encouragement. I remember being a teenager one time on a Florida vacation and trying to jump off a platform right before plummeting down strapped to a bungee jump. The only thing that worked was, “Don’t think! Just DO IT!” and I did.
Same thing worked here…I had to tell myself, “STOP thinking and just do it!” I closed my eyes, raised the machete, but stopped mid swing. I can’t close my eyes! What if I miss and don’t kill her right away? That would be even worse. I had to look. I had to aim right for the neck, chop the head off. FYI chickens do still run around without their heads off, hint the phrase, a chicken with their head cut off!
Ok! Keep your eyes open, Kristina and just do it! So I pulled the machete back up above my head and came down hard to strike her neck. I screamed and just kept hitting. I wanted to make sure she was gone and in no more pain.
Y’all, I feel like this is what my faith journey has been like. Anytime I try to pump myself up or encourage myself in my own way, I fail. I have to stop thinking and just do it! Well, I mean obviously God wants us to think, but we have to think in accordance to His will not mine! I have to follow God. The Holy Spirit will guide me if I listen.
Adopt three kids, ARE YOU CRAZY?
“Just do, my child, don’t think about it and I will lead you.”
Quit my job and become a stay at home mom. BUT GOD WE CANT AFFORD IT!
“Just do, my child, don’t think about it and I will lead you.”
Even though I still mess it up in the process, going bat **** crazy leaving my job (still haven’t recovered from that trauma and people who hurt me!), but I have learned when God is speaking to me. Every traumatic event and/or life-changing decision in my life, it wasn’t until I got out of the way that I then saw God working in my life. Β I know a story about me macheting my chicken is a morbid way of exampling my thought process in life, but for real. God gives me the strength ALWAYS if I just stop thinking on my own will and just do it in accordance with his will, I will always succeed.
Love you, friends even if you think I am crazy!