When you hear a new song, do you like it because of the lyrics or the melody? I don’t know much about music — Matt does, not me. When I was in middle school, I played the viola. I wanted to be like my sister, but not “be” like her. All you with an older sister, you know what I mean! She played the violin so I picked the bigger and more unique instrument, the viola. It probably only lasted that school year, I don’t even remember. All that to say, I played an instrument (if you can call it that) and I was in my church choir, but that is as far as my musical training goes. What usually catches me right away is the melody, not the lyrics. Sometimes I am listening to a song, jamming out and then the next time I really listen to it, I’m appalled! Good thing my kids weren’t in the car.
I love listening to these two songs: She Used to Be Mine and Who You Say I Am…BUT I have two completely different emotions when I am listening to them. It is crazy how powerful a song can speak to us, but also how much they can alter our mood. Be very mindful of this.
Y’all I love (LOVE!) I’m Gonna Be. I remember being a little girl and every time it came on the radio a huge giddy, smile would cross my face! Why?! Seriously, why would a 6-7 year old love this song so much…
When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next you
When I go out, yeah I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
Parents, come on! What are you teaching me about my future Mr. Right?! It was released by The Proclaimers in 1987. I guess my parents played it all the time when I was one! To this day, if I hear this song, I am brought back to the sunny streets of Florida lined with palm trees and the warm breeze across my face!
Sara Bareilles’s song, She Used to Mine, evokes longing and sadness in me.
It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
I have never seen Waitress, but would love to eventually when this world starts to open back up. BUT…I love this song! I came across the lyrics before I actually listened to it so this song is out of the norm of favorites for me. The words just pierced right through me then I read Sara Bareilles’s explanation of it and died!
Who am I? I am a mom of six – a mom to three brown kiddos, one child with Mosaic Down syndrome and two stuck in the middle. Most days I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast or if I even ate breakfast. I clean up messes all day long. My life is not my own, “She is gone, but she used to be mine.” It is very easy to fall into this trap of loneliness and despair. How can I be lonely with 7 other people around me, 10 cats, 1 dog, frogs, snakes, turtles and who knows what else?! I seriously was woken up the other night at 2am because Charlee found Ashley’s lost snake in the hallway on her way to the bathroom. I am not alone, but many times I feel lonely.
What did I do before 6 kids? What did I enjoy? What did I do with ALL.THAT.TIME! I have no idea. I was a socially active person. I was president of my college public relations society. I was a published writer at the University of Memphis. I was a full-time working professional. I visited over 15 countries before 30! I was going places.
“I think everybody can relate to the idea that no matter where you ended up, you ended up different than you thought you would be,” explains Bareilles. “We all have to reconcile the differences with who you thought you would become, and who you actually ended up to be.”
Moms, how many of you get stuck in the “what if”? What if I would have pursued that career and not had children? What if I didn’t get married so young? It is a deep hole to get into. Believe me, I have been there. That is what this beautiful song does to me – produces a very not beautiful picture of Who I Am.
Now Hillsong’s Who You Say I Am evokes meaning, belonging and love. A stark contrast of Who I Am from above.
Who am I that the highest King
Would welcome me?
I was lost but He brought me in
Oh His love for me
Oh His love for me…
I’m a child of God
Yes I am
She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
Kristina, you have been given a gift of words, of writing and making a difference for people to see God working through your life touching those beautiful children. I didn’t have six children but I had 4 within 5 1/2 years so I know your hectic life. As a stay at home mom I can’t tell you the difference it will make for your children, you just have to wait till they are adults to reap all the blessings. When you feel like pulling your hair out, stop take a breath and enjoy the moment because it all goes so very fast and you will long for those crazy days again. You are in my prayers as your journey continues. I’m blessed by your readiness to serve and love our God!
Thank you so much for your encouragement!!
Well this one certainly hit home for me! Thank you for the reminder that while I’m not perfect, I am loved by God and I’m right where I’m supposed to be.